My Tweets

If you are puissant, don't use the word puissant. People will giggle, and you will cease being puissant. — 5 years 50 weeks ago
I just accidentally called a phone sex line. True story. — 5 years 51 weeks ago
In the end, there will be only one survivor girl, and that will be Romney. — 5 years 51 weeks ago
I think Cain's withdrawl officially makes the Republican primaries a horror movie. — 5 years 51 weeks ago
Please keep your arms and legs inside the Cain Train until the ride comes to a full and complete stop... — 5 years 51 weeks ago
From now on, I'm just going to assume that "Buried" is the ending to any Ryan Reynolds movie that I happen to get conned into seeing. — 5 years 51 weeks ago
Hmmm...should I go see the new #Twilight movie or listen to Evanesence while punching myself in the head for 2hrs? Decisions, decisions... — 5 years 51 weeks ago
I. Drink. My. MILKSHAKE!! — 5 years 52 weeks ago
@ebertchicago I used to pronounce him "go-thay". Oh, the shame... — 6 years 8 hours ago
Saw a guy on the expressway with the logo for "The Last Starfighter" across the back window of his truck #mynewhero — 6 years 22 weeks ago